My heart! -
I don’t want to be hypocrite and pretend I am not hurting, I am! I am hurting. I knew from the start that we were bound to end sooner or later, in our case 3 happy years later. However, I am still having difficulty moving on because there are a lot of questions left unanswered and there are a lot of feelings left unresolved. Knowing me I need answers, I need resolutions! I need it bad!
I must admit that I still love him and how’d I wish I stayed within my boundaries of just loving him and not loving him too much. I should have taken his advise of loving him less and loving my self more.. well sometimes (most of the time) I am stubborn. Like right now, I know that I would benefit more from our separation and that it is for my own good more than his BUT I refuse to see that that I’ve compromised my love of self. At this point I asked my self ‘Why?’ and my heart tells me only 2 reasons ‘1) I love him and 2) I don’t want to see his family, his friends and other woman getting hurt (more or less) like I am now’.
The three years that we’ve been together were so beautiful and I want it to stay that way in my heart and mind. This is why I must be strong before he treats me any worst. I would rather be remembered badly for loving too much than hurting the person I love.
He said this once to me and I will say it back to him “thank you for loving me, wanting me and making me feel happy!”
My heart is my next destination.