Is it love or lust?

When we started our relationship three (3) years ago I asked my self..

“Why am I in this relationship?” “Why am I a mistress?”

“Is it because of love or lust?”

I was introduced to Mr. Married Man by a friend and although I find him attractive and smart I also find him very weired. He does a funny laugh and wears an outdated accessory.

I grew attraction to him as I find him very easy to talk with until he casually dropped the bomb and said he is married and just had a kid.

I was surprised or more likely disappointed and ashamed, thinking I might just have a boyfriend in him, but I didn’t show any emotion so as not to imply I’m interested in him, a Married Man.

That might have been our last conversation because I chose to distance my self and brush off a budding feeling of attraction for him UNTIL we attended a party, had a couple of drinks, flirted, he pursued me and everything as they say is history.

We spend time together more often. We would talk and laugh endlessly. We would go to restaurants. We would exchange glances and say our hi’s, hello’s and goodbyes. All of these we do very discretely as we were surrounded by friends.

Our feelings grew stronger as we find that we compliment each other. We were like soul mates.

I have fallen in love with Mr. Married Man even it was was against my values and principles. It was not a relationship that I would even imagine to have wanted. I can’t explain it but it just happened. We can’t help it as we were like opposite magnet poles closing in together.

Then we finally did. When we both couldn’t resist it anymore after a few weeks of “dating” we locked lips together. That first kiss was the start of all passionate and intense kisses and more.

Needless to say we also compliment each other sexually.

Going back to the question “Is it because of love or lust?”

I’d say it is more LOVE than LUST, as lust is just incidental to love.

Published in: on April 27, 2007 at 5:18 pm  Comments (7)  

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7 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I say it is definitely love. Although in the end there might be a fine line between love and hate.

  2. why love and hate? Have you hated the one you love or have you hated your self for loving him?

  3. Good question… It is what you want it to be….Only you as a person can create your own reality.. The answers are all within you.But remember – everything begin with Love- Everything is Love – For we are all one with the Creator – who is in fact Love…..Therefore you are Love and should give off Love.

  4. Well said.. Once I remembered my self holding back on what I feel, more than what i should hold back as a mistress, but I said to my self why hold back? I love him and I will express it as I wish, and Im glad that I did.. There is no what ifs now.. and we’re happy šŸ™‚
    Have I hated Mr. Married Man? Sometimes for tolerating me our relationship, for not making me like a mistress.
    Have I hated my self for loving Mt. Married Man? Yes BUT..

  5. It’s sometimes tough to distinguish between love and lust. However, when my MM’s W recently found out about us, the pain I endured proved to me without a doubt, that I love this man. I also have a partner, so we’re both cheating basically.

  6. How pathetic that some little girl would use the copyright name of myself “MsLadyMistress”. For what reason? Attention perhaps?

  7. Why I have become a mistress….there are so many whys in our life which we cannot define or do not have answers for and sometimes its better not to know.

    My MM saw in my recent web history that i am visiting this website frequently, result he got too sad (sad not upset at me but sad).

    he sat down with me as he is concerned about my feelings for him, asked me if i was under depression, do i feel emotionally trapped, tells me if this is making me feel so bad then i am free to go (he said it in best of my interest not angrily). he showed me literal meanings of Mistress from dictionary and said is this how i feel that he thinks of me.

    i got more and more confused. yes in the eye of the world this is what i have become in social meanings this is who i am but in reality we both know the truth, we are the only judge of our feelings and we know how honest they are.

    we know if its lust or its love…something so beautiful can not be lust, something that does not fades can not be lust, when we spend hours together without even a kiss can not be lust.

    we love each other and we have surrendered in one another, we feel at ease and we get peace… are we soul mates? or soul mate is just another myth?

    i do not know and do not want to know, as long as i am loved and taken care of, as long as someone is concerned about how he i feel, i do not need more answers.

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